embrace: how self-love is a superpower
This post is part 2 of 3 in the Becoming Bare series— learning to embrace my whole self as the next step in the process.
setting the stage: noticing the void
Around June this year, while aligning my life with my core values, I began to feel something missing— something deeper. At the time, I was still coping with the dating devastation of not being chosen for the nth time. I thought I was ready and worthy because I loved myself, but as I wrestled with the feelings of rejection, I realized I did not do so fully.
I struggled to accept and understand that it was not about me— my physical appearance nor my personality. Traveling to escape and drown the emotions, as I am used to, did not cure. In fact, the silences between all the fun made the emptiness feel louder, revealing the years-long void that still remained— from seeking validation, acceptance, and people-pleasing.
What I didn’t realize then was that the answer I was searching for was already within me, waiting to be uncovered.
What beliefs about yourself or others might be holding you back from feeling whole? Are there areas where you still seek external validation, and how might you release them?
self-love is a reflection: how the world became my mirror
For a long time, I thought self-love was something you earned— through achieving, being chosen, or looking a certain way. It was a story rooted in years of seeking external validation, shaped by the subtle but constant messages from society, culture, and even my own upbringing.
My perspective shifted unexpectedly while watching Bridgerton. Seeing a curvy woman not only be celebrated but also find a happy ending— simply by being herself— resonated with me deeply. For the first time, I felt truly seen. And maybe too, I was ready to be seen. Her story felt like a mirror, reflecting parts of my own and giving me permission to love who I am, regardless of my insecurities or how others might perceive me.
Around the same time, I began connecting with women in the Ina Wellness community through Ina Well Fest and other events— women who I admired from afar. I considered them confident, radiant, and to be honest, untouchable. But as I got to know them through shared vulnerability, I realized they were just like me— human. Each soul stood beautiful in their uniqueness and resilience, beyond their looks, titles, and external accomplishments. And during the time when a stranger I was paired with during an activity told me I have a beautiful soul, it was clear: it wasn’t about the exterior at all.
Both experiences are simple, yet so profoundly touching. It was as if they unlocked the secret to taking up space and being unapologetically myself. In those moments, I began to embrace the truth that I am already worthy—worthy just as I am and the person I am continuously becoming.
Since then, I started to truly get to know myself, to become intimate with my own desires, needs, weaknesses, fears, and dreams— all without judgement. I chose myself, and it was the most healing gift I could give to my inner child— the part of me who had waited so long to feel understood and accepted. Self-love became my superpower, and it was only the beginning...
Have you ever experienced a moment of seeing yourself reflected in someone or something that shifted how you viewed your own worth? How did it make you feel?
how ego held me back (and how I let it go)
With this powerful realization came another shift: I began letting go of my ego. It is something I have struggled with for so long— feeling like it was never safe to be fully myself. My thoughts, feelings, and dreams felt too insecure to share, so I either hid them away or often held back. In hindsight, I realize this was my own doing— because I didn’t love myself fully yet.
As I started letting go of the need to prove myself, I began to see how deeply my ego had been holding me back. But, this shift was not just about releasing fear or judgment—it was about embracing a new way of being: with self-love at the center. I realized that when I let go of perfection, I made room for self-compassion, which allowed me to release old habits, heal, and start dreaming.
The pressure to be perfect, constant self-judgement, and the need to prove myself slowly began to melt away. I started reframing harsh thoughts, criticizing myself less, and allowing grace to guide me. It felt liberating to make mistakes without shame.
In embracing self-compassion, I found myself seeing others through the same lens. This shift wasn’t just about me—it was about how I showed up in the world, with more connection and openness. And that connection changed everything.
This newfound compassion then opened my eyes to what wasn’t good for me— people, places, or even habits that didn’t align with the love and value I now held for myself. Though uncomfortable at first, setting boundaries and letting go of draining situations became the best ways I could show up for myself.
Self-love wasn’t just about healing; it became a source of empowerment. No longer motivated by fear or scarcity, I began to act out of love— love for myself, my growth, and the life I wanted to create.
What would it look like for you to let go of the pressure to prove yourself? What boundaries could you set to protect the love and value you hold for yourself?
self-love is the bridge between alignment and action
Through my journey, I realized that self-love is the bridge between alignment and action. When you truly recognize your worth, confidence follows naturally, and suddenly, the dreams that once seemed distant are within reach. With self-love as my foundation, I’ve made bold decisions that align with who I am and the life I want to create.
One of the biggest steps I took was leaving a job that no longer felt fulfilling. Not only did I make the decision to step away, but I also gave myself permission to take a break—a much-needed pause to rest, reflect, and reorient myself before diving into the next chapter. This decision, though challenging, was liberating—it allowed me to redirect my energy toward what truly aligns with my vision. And while pursuing that is still a work in progress, self-love gave me the courage to take the first steps and begin building the foundation for what’s to come.
As I continue to embrace self-love, I’m learning to trust myself more and more. I’m discovering that the power to dream big and take action starts with believing I am worthy of a life I love, no matter where I am in the process.
In the next and final post of this series, I’ll explore what it means to cultivate self-trust, lean into discomfort, and start turning those big dreams into reality.
What dreams are you ready to bring into the light, and what will it take for you to take action on them?
for your journey
practical ways to embrace self-love
Embracing self-love is an ongoing journey, and even small steps can create a ripple effect in your life. Start with kindness, boundaries and being your own best friend— because you truly deserve it!
Be kinder to yourself: Notice your inner dialogue and replace criticism with compassion.
Honor your needs and set boundaries: Say “yes” to what nourishes you and “no” to what drains you.
Celebrate yourself: Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small.
Be vulnerable with yourself: Allow space for reflection, forgiveness, and healing.
Embrace vulnerability with others: Open up to trusted people, allowing yourself to be seen and supported in your journey.
Recognize your worth: Understand that you are deserving of love and respect, just as you are— and release the need to prove your worth.
Get to know yourself by reflecting often: Make time to check in with yourself and realign with your values.
Self-love is your superpower, and it begins with simple, intentional actions. For more inspiration on your journey, follow us on IG: @abarelife.co
