release to rediscover: how letting go changed my life
This post is part 1 of 3 in the Becoming Bare series, exploring the first step—Release.
setting the stage: endless hamster wheel
For most of my life, I felt like I was running on a hamster wheel– constantly chasing success, trying to prove my worth, yet never feeling truly fulfilled. My identity was tied to my accomplishments. It’s just something that has been ingrained in me since childhood. Maybe you can relate too– like your value is tied to how much you achieve.
By 2023, the year I turned 30, I was excited to ring in the new decade with crossing off a life long goal and to make my family the proudest they’d ever been. I was finally going to become a licensed architect! But life had other plans… What I thought would be the beginning of a great career turned into a season of questioning everything.
Have you ever felt like the life you’ve created isn’t fully yours? What motivates you– expectations or what truly matters to you?
the catalyst: life throws a curveball
When I moved to the Philippines to balance remote work and taking care of my mom, most of what I knew about myself began to fall apart. The part of me I knew best – the high achiever– felt lost. I kept asking myself, who am I if I am not achieving? Do my dreams even matter, or is my worth tied to my role as an only child?
It was an exhausting, confusing, and lonely couple of months. And yet I was still so hard on myself, feeling shameful and disappointed for not being able to juggle both. I was stuck between my aspirations and my family obligations, with no clear path forward. For the first time, I had to confront the idea that my identity was so tied to accomplishments. I didn’t realize that without them, I no longer knew who I was.
What aspects of your identity feel tied to external expectations? What might happen if those expectations were removed?
the turning point: discovering coaching
When I returned to Guam, something still felt off. I had my old routine back and threw myself harder at work, but it wasn’t enough. I longed for a change that I couldn’t put into words. That’s when I came across Ina Wellness Collective’s coaching program. What caught my attention was its focus on looking at life holistically– health, career, relationships, and emotional well-being.
It was the start of 2024, and though I had high hopes to reclaim my year, I had zero expectations. I signed up and set a simple intention: to take care of myself and achieve my goals– but to do it differently this time. Slower, more intentionally. That mindset shift was huge for me because it wasn’t about striving harder, but more on trusting the process.
As the sessions went on, everything started to change. The program wasn’t about doing it all the fastest; it was about exploring what felt right in each area of my life, taking small, actionable steps, and giving myself grace. For the first time, I allowed myself to pause and reflect instead of just charging forward. And so even in the ups and downs, there was not a time I wanted to give up.
If you could set one intention to guide your journey, what would it be? How might your life look like if you slowed down and trusted the process?
the transformation: letting go to create space
Through coaching, I began to let go of the old frameworks that had shaped my life: achievement, perfectionism, external validation, timelines, and the pressure to have it all together. Letting go wasn’t easy. These beliefs are like safety nets, even if they were holding me back.
But something amazing happened as I started releasing them: the space they left behind was not empty. Instead, it was full of possibilities. I started to reconnect with things that truly lit me up. I was more attuned to how I wanted to feel in every area of my life. By the end of the program, a values exercise helped me hone in on what mattered most– freedom, authenticity, connection, and creativity. These became my compass, guiding me to build a life that felt more aligned with who I am. And for the first time, I felt like I was living for myself and not for anyone else.
What are you holding onto that feels heavy or out of alignment? What might it feel like to release it?
why release matters
Letting go isn’t about losing or giving up. It’s about creating space for the things that truly matter. When we hold on to outdated beliefs or habits, we leave no room for growth. Releasing those things isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. It gives you clarity, freedom, and the chance to reconnect with your authentic self.
for your journey
if you’re feeling weighed down, take a moment to reflect:
What’s one old belief or mindset you’re ready to let go of?
What might make space for it in your life?
ready to take the next step?
This simple guide will help you:
Reflect on meaningful moments in your life.
Identify the values and priorities that matter most.
Create space for what truly lights you up.
Letting go is the beginning of transformation.
Trust the process– you’ve got everything you need within you.
